My legs are too long to successfully paint my toenails. However, I shall simply blob the nail polish around the general nail area and hope that either people are as short sighted as me, or that they’re too disgusted by my dancers feet to notice.
As of today I’m banning people from using “LOL” in and about my general area. Also in any text pertaining to me or sent to me. Also in any conversation involving me. I am now a “LOL” free zone. It is not worth anything anymore. Leave it back in 2008 where it belongs.
Wish girls in school who drink/ don’t exercise would stop complaining about their weight/ how they can’t lose any/ their diet plans/ how they’re smoking to stop hunger cravings/ calorie counting. Especially around me. Because one of these days I’m going to say something I’ll severely regret, about the exact reasons for this, and the meaning of the word “beer-belly.” Possibly with pictures of Homer Simpson for illustration. I cannot handle talk of weight anyway, you girls are just asking for this.
You know it’s time to sleep when you’re reading the word “toadfish” in your biology papers as “turdfish”.
Anytime a new leader is elected anywhere, all I wonder is what characteristic do they possess for the media to mock them with when they turn out not to be God’s gift.
Hate it when people post things on twitter about alcohol. Like, I drink for evolution, to give my children a stronger liver. And chemically speaking, alcohol IS a solution. I’m screaming inside because:
•evolution is the passing on of DNA. Drinking alcohol will not change the genes that code for tolerance to putting toxic substances in your body. You must be thinking of Lamarckes theory of acquired characteristics, which thought you gained characteristics (even scars apparently) from your parents. Unfortunately, dear, that theory was disproved by Darwin. HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO.
•alcohol is not technically a solution. You do not make alcohol by mixing stuff with water or any other liquid. Anyone who thinks this, needs an education. It is a compound, which can only be formed by specific reactions. It’s also a SOLVENT, meaning that it can hardly be both solution and solvent. Jeez, even the people in the middle ages knew that you don’t make beer by leaving the hops in water and hoping they dissolve.
Yes, I am fully aware that these things are supposed to be funny. But I’m doing two science A-levels, and I’m a complete health weirdo. Therefore I cannot deal with this level of ignorance/ nonchalance about the level of alcoholism in todays youth. That is all.
• no swearing - well, that went well, saves me the energy usually expended on 40-50 extra words a day.
• no inappropriate comments - harder than I thought, having to censor most of what goes through my mind. Chest infection is helping too, since every other word is a phlegmy growl (even bordering on inappropriate in my blog, oh dear).
• no speculations on rumours/other people - never been one to hold back on my opinions of people. Having to cut myself short halfway through sentences to prevent an unladylike blunder.
• no laughing uncontrollably - failed. So bad.
• no eating constantly - not my fault, I have a high metabolism. Even ladies can’t refuse their own bodies.
Tomorrow’s going to be fun, my mind wasn’t built to be censored!
Need a girl that I can train. Turn your back and run now, you haven’t got a chance now.
